Dirty Dealings

Today I left the house clutching three plastic bags, two containing rubbish and one containing my mobile phone, purse and door keys amongst other items. The idea was to throw the two rubbish bags into the refuse container. I think you probably know where this story is going… Anyway, head in the clouds, I arrived at the rubbish container, a big rectangular thing with a flip lid and chucked in what I thought were my two bags of rubbish. A hundred metres down the road, I realised that this was not the case and that my bag of valuables in fact contained a quantity of potato peelings from last night, a batch of used hankies from a persistent cold and the torn up remnants of a gas bill. Tutting to myself, I sprinted back and flipped open the lid, rummaging around furiously, convinced it would be sitting on top of the rubbish but no, it must have slipped down the back; that would have been too easy. So there I was, sifting through the rubbish, my puppy wisely distancing herself from this unsavoury behaviour whilst noticing curtains in the vicinity twitching. A very important official from the local ‘Municipio’ office drove past and I managed an embarrassed wave and weak smile – banana skins and used nappies clinging to my forearms. This episode coupled with the previously detailed rumours circulating the village of my hot water bottle preparations for the dog, would most certainly not contribute to any elevation in status on my part. I really wanted him to pull up and wind down his window so that I could tell him jovially the real reason I was elbow deep in rubbish then we could have a good laugh about it and, who knows, he might even get out and help me look, but instead he sped up and whizzed by, shaking his head in disbelief. Hmm, there goes a speedy resolution to my residence permit papers. Anyway, I finally managed to locate the bag and then tried to walk away with a casual saunter as if this was something I did every day without shame. Hmm, never a dull moment round here.