Last laugh

Some of you may remember the snooty woman mentioned in one of my earlier entries - the one who likes to look down her nose at me (and squeezed into a clearly too small skirt and thought it was flattering). Everytime that I pass her in the village, she looks right through me. This is what it must be like when you die, I thought, and come back to visit your old friends but no-one sees you any more....Anyway, after countless episodes of pretending I didn't exist, the other day she finally noticed me. It wasn't to say, 'Hello Julia, how are you?' or anything cordial but immediately started the sentence 'Oh, what a shame I missed the start of your new English course. I would have loved to have attended. Never mind, you'll run another one won't you and then I'll come along to that one' and with that, she dismissed me with a vague wave of her hand and walked away without allowing me to reply in any shape or form. 'Cow!', I murmered and had sudden visions of giving her an intensive course in .....'Gobbledegook', that grammatically challenging language used by the hard of speaking. Imagine, after 10 weeks of solid drilling and heavy homework, she comes away speaking a language no more understandable than a chicken with hiccups, Latvian spoken backwards or trying to talk with a mouth full of mashed banana (one of my all-time favourite childhood games!). Ah, the joy, the satisfaction imaging her next trip to London as she walks into a newsagent and spews forth a dialogue of nothingness and nonsense. Hah, bet she'll stop ignoring me in future though...