Smelly

Well, I had the good fortune to be invited to my neighbours' house for home-made pizza...what a delight!! Of course, the dog, TT, had to be in attendance but I left her outside as most Italians disapprove of animals in the house. So there we were, all dutifully assembled around the table tucking in. The grandmother, unfortunately, has suffered from a form of alzheimers for years and often has aggressive outbursts if, for example, she sees you reaching for another slice of pizza. Ehh, I wondered, would she like that piece, should I leave it for her? Is she concerned at my foreign accent? Do you laugh along? Try to include her in the conversation? I related a recent, what I thought, funny story to the family and caught her really glaring at me. Hmmm, not saying that everyone should laugh at my jokes, but, hey.... Anyway, getting sidetracked, there we were chomping away benignly at this wonderful spread when suddenly there was this AWWWWWFUL smell that filled the room. Uhhh, I thought, are they digging up the local graveyard to remove the bodies....uhhhh.... then I caught sight of TT, my dog, jumping up at the window, head appearing, then disappearing....jumping up...head appearing...then disappearing... The head of the table said frostily.....I think your dog has rolled in something. The vision is all too clear for me. You can be out walking with the dog and suddenly it finds something black and evil in the road so what is its immediate reponse...I think I'll roll in it. Clearly this is what the dog had done so the house was filled with the smell of rotting flesh. What does one do in these circumstances? Gloss over it, comment on the weather, incur the wrath of the grandmother and reach for another piece of pizza...? I opted to go out to investigate and doing so found TT outside, black down one side, aboslutely reeking of some unspeakable substance. 'You bring shame upon the family!' I barked to which she barked back. Of course she wouldn't just go away as I implored, begged, asked politely and not so politely. The father of the house came out and began tetchily to slice up the watermelon. I errr...I'm ever so sorry, I started....before fading out and beating a hasty restreat inside. My kind hosts were grim faced and had stopped eating, unsurprisingly. I sat down and commented breezily (wishing in fact there was a breeze) 'Lovely pizza!'. Suddenly I heard a yelp and the smell (i.e. the dog) began to distance itself. Clearly the father had delivered it a clear and unmistakeable message with the toe of his shoe. I waited for someone to produce an air freshener but none was forthcoming. Maybe they're out of it, I thought. By now, the grandmother was cackling. Clearly she took the opposite mood of everyone else depending on the circumstances. Hmm, I won't expect an immediate re-invitation in the near future......